What a Mom-Boss Does NOT Do
We are reclaiming the word 'boss' and giving it to the mamas.
It was recently brought to my attention that when we say, 'mom-boss' (which we like to say), it could be interpreted as piling on more pressure to 'do it all' - to be a perfectly present mom, a high-earning CEO, a fun-loving wife, a marathon runner and a best friend who never forgets a birthday.
This could not be further from what we mean when we shower you with 'mom-boss'.
Whether you're trying to conceive, pregnant or already a mama, you know that this whole thing is serious business.
It's harder than any job. For growing, nurturing and loving another life into existence, despite the toll on your body, the sacrifices to your career (and your travel plans), the sleepless nights- all of this, in-and-of-itself, makes you the ultimate boss.
Basically, we're saying you're badass - because we call it like we see it.
What we admire and applaud most is what the mom-boss does not do.* And what she does not do, is ‘it all’.
Maybe you don't run that extra mile, take on another project, make it to the party or get a homemade dinner on the table. It doesn't matter. You already earned your 'mom-boss' status, fair and square. Often, its in the letting go, not trying to achieve it all, that we're able to enjoy what we have.
Over a year after my first son was born, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.
I thought I was in the clear, but nope. Those hormones are still raging. As is the pressure, both internal and external (but let's be real, mostly internal). When the therapist asked me what I could take off my plate, I was genuinely stumped. I scratched my head and left her office without a solution. I share this to convey how thoroughly I get it that doing less and saying 'no', is hard stuff.
For me, at least in this mini phase of life, not doing it all means I don’t get QT with Netflix, I rarely read the news, my yoga practice is nowhere to be found, my bed is not made, my nails are not manicured and I don’t see my friends enough.
Although I value each of these things (to varying degrees) letting myself off the hook from ‘doing it all’ is my ultimate self-care.
Easing the demands on my time allows me to own the life-stage of new-motherhood that I’m in. Recognizing that it’s all a phase, that I’ll be a social yogi up to date on current events again someday, frees me to sink my heels in and embrace the challenges of growing a family. It can still feel exhausting, overwhelming and lonely at times, but the pressure is off for this time to be anything other than what it is.
You too, can do an extraordinary amount, without having to ‘do it all’. You can grow another human!
Because you’re boss.
Now, it's your turn.
What is it that you don't do?* In what ways do you let yourself off the hook from ‘doing it all’? Share in the comments below.
*This question of ‘what you don't do’ is from our favorite podcast, Startup Pregnant. Alavita is honored to be a sponsor of this show and recommend it to any woman even thinking of baby-making who also has entrepreneurial aspirations.